Love Grows Matt and Emily after Borderline
by Sidewinder775
Summary: Several months after Borderline, Matt and Emily are still a couple. It STARTED OUT as a regular workday for Emily and Matt...... until a bump appeared in the road.....
1. Chapter 1

57...58..59..one minute. 1:01...1:02..

Emily watched the seconds drag by on her watch. As a negotiator, she knew how much could happen in two minutes...

With shaking hands she picked up the instructions again. "Accurate results within two mintues" the box read. A plus sign (+) will appear in the window indicating a positive test result. If the test is negative, the window will be blank.

Emily leaned against the bathroom stall, waiting, just one more minute. She had purposely sought out the bathroom near the conference room- it got the least amount of traffic during the day- she didn't want Lia or Cheryl coming in.

1:28, 1:29, 1:30... ok, 30 more seconds...

She was a week late, and Emily couldn't wait anymore. She had made up a lame excuse about going to pick up dry cleaning so she could stop at the drugstore. Now, here she was, standing in the bathroom stall at CNU, holding her breath.

2:00...2:01...2:02.

Emily had set the pregnancy test on the purse ledge in the stall. It's time she said to herself.

Swallowing, she thought, what do I want? Positive? Negative? She hadn't told Matt she was late. Over the past three or four days the idea she might be pregnant had increasingly crept into her thoughts. No... she had tried to tell herself. We've been careful, who the heck gets pregnant on accident these days? This kind of stuff doesnt' happen to mature, responsible adults. Matt had known she was preoccupied, and had asked her if she was ok. She had lied, waving it off. What would he say? How would he feel? Would he be scared? She already knew, if it was positive, she would have the baby.

Over the past six months their relationship had deepened and was stronger. They had become totally intertwined in one anothers lives. Several days after the near-fatal Mexican raid Matt had finally plucked up the courage to say "I love you" to her. She remembered the whole scene in stark detail: him saying this to her,standing in the doorway of her apartment.

"Em" he had said,I need to talk to you. With his eyes on the pavement, Matt continued. "You're my best friend, and my partner. I've never been with anyone like you. All the other girls I've dated, can't compare. And, uh, and, I..uh, I, I love you."

With this Matt's dark eyes had darted up to hers, imploring her face for an answer. Never had she seen him with his guard so down.

Eyes welling up she had collapsed into his arms, sobbing that she loved him too, so much, and she had wanted to tell him so many times, and had been afraid to, she hadn't wanted to scare him away, and make herself vulnerable to hurt, which is what had happened the last time she fell for someone.

"Shhhh" he had said, stroking her hair, feeling her body shake with emotion. Matt had gently closed the door behind him as they slid to the floor in an embrace. They sat this way for a long time.

Things had been wonderful since then.

Heart racing, Emily though, "Ok. Just pick up the test and look at it. If its positive, you'll be having a baby with the man you love. It's not like we're teenagers or anything like that." Emily had allowed herself to entertain the little fantasy of her and Matt having a family... but in her mind the scenario had been a different. She and Matt would have been married awhile, they would have been planning on a child, she would have made a creative way to tell him, she would be beaming, Matt would be smiling, kissing her forehead, they would be conspiring how to tell their co-workers and friends, arguing about names... a little different scenario than her secretly crouched in the CNU bathroom.

What if it's negative and this is for nothing? Would she actually be disappointed? Having a baby would throw a serious wrench in her career. She would be barred from field work for her pregnancy, and Matt would get a new partner, at least temporarily. Also, if its negative, should she tell him? He knew she had something on her mind. It might lead to lots of uncomfortable moments, uncertainty.

Putting these thoughts aside, Emily closed her eyes and picked up the plastic stick.

Opening her eyes, as clear as could be Emily saw a bright blue plus sign in the window.

"Oh my God, oh... Emily said quietly, putting a hand on her mouth, staring at the blue symbol, her life changing right before her eyes. We're having a baby... we're going to have...

The bathroom door creaked open, and Emily heard the quick staccato of Lia's high heels on the cold tile floor.

"Emily- are you in here?????!!!!" the sound of Lia's voice reverberated in the small bathroom.

"Yeah Lia- I'm here," Emily's voice quavered.

"Hey, are you OK?" Lia asked, hearing the uncertain tone in Emily's voice.

"Yeah- yeah I'm fine" Emily said trying desperately to sound like herslef.

"Oh my God- we've been looking all over for you! Cheryl wants you front and center- we've got a hostage situation on the subway- we need you now!"

"Ok" I'm out in a sec." Head reeling, Emily grabbed the test and all the wrappers and jammed the evidence into her purse, it wouldn't be good to leave this is the trash at work. Not too many single females in the office.

Flushing the toilet for show, Emily stepped out of the stall. Lia gave her a quizzical look, turned on her heel and said "come on."

They raced down the hall and into Cheryl's office.

Cheryl was on the phone, Matt was just sitting down, he turned to look up at her "Jesus Lehman, spend enough time in the bathroom? That taco you ate for lunch getting to you? Matt quipped."

"I guess so" Emily said, smiling at her partner, the father of her child, in a whole new way

13 Hours later.

Matt yanked his wireless headset off and rubbed his eyes with his long fingers. 12 hours. He and Emily had started negotiations at approximately 1:30 pm, it was now almost 2:00 am.

The subway situation had been excruciating. The HT had taken an entire train of midday commuters hostage, believing them to be government spies. Too much TV Matt thought. But, the agonizing hours had been worth it, although there were several serious civilian injuries, he eventually broke and the operation was a success.

He looked up to see Emily and Cheryl working their way towards him. "Nice Work Matt," Cheryl said, "you too Lehman." They both nodded in thanks. "I don't say this often" stated Cheryl, but you two are really an incredible team. Go get some rest."

"Ready partner?" said Emily

"Yeah, I'm too on to sleep." Suddenly Matt was starving. How about some Beer and late-night Wendy's at my place?

"I'll take the Wendy's" said Emily- don't feel like a beer tonite.

"You drive, I'm way too fried" said Matt, tossing her his keys.

They drove in silence. All during the conflict Emily hadn't allowed her mind to jerk back to today's suprise. The shock still hadn't worn off, but she was becoming accustomed to the idea, she was going to be a mother. She was even feeling excited about it. She had to tell him. Now wasn't really the time.

Matt sat in the passenger seat, listening to the radio. He looked over at Emily, searching her face. He couldn't put his finger on it but something was weighing on her mind these few days. When he asked her, she scoffed it off and said nothing, just work. That worried him. In the months following the night they had exchanged "I Love Yous" their relationship had taken a more serious tone. He could actually see a future with her. They were careful to reference things like that, but Matt knew the topic would have to come up. Soon. Where were they headed?

He remembered when they had been "just friends" and had casual discussions of what they wanted in life on a plane ride to Reno. "So, don't all girls just want to get married and push out babies?" Matt had sniped with a grin. "Don't all guys really want to get married because they can't take care of themselves?" she had snarked back with an evil smirk. "No seriously" he said. He rememembered Emily had thought for a minute. Yes, she said, I think eventually I will want to be married. But its got to be someone who really makes me think. An intellectual equal." Matt had snorted at this. "Ok Miss Princeton." " The kid part though," Emily paused. "It all depends on who is the right guy. I've never been one of the girls hung up on having kids. That's a maybe for now," she smiled. "Ok- how about you?"  
Matt paused a second. He'd never actually dated anyone he would have wanted to marry. "She's got to be someone who takes me for who I am" he said. "And, I guess I agree with you- its hard to find someone with brains and incredible HOTNESS" he said, starting to crack up as Emily rolled her eyes. "Kids, I'm not sure about that. he said, his brow wrinkling, and tone losing its joking edge."My dad and I haven't really had the best relationship, not saying he's a lousy dad, but, well, I guess I woudln't want to be like that to my kid." Kinda scares me." With that the topic came to a close.

That conversation had been over a year ago. Matt was happy with the way things were, but over the past couple days he'd begun to be unsure if Emily was. The lease on her apartment was coming up soon. Would she want to move in together? He had a house, yeah, it was bachelory- but not beyone saving. The moving in thing- would she go for it? Or not? Uncertainty bit away at him. The thought of being without her made his stomach lurch. The idea of her waking up every morning next to him sounded so right. So this is what its like to be in love. Was he ready to have her move in? Then what? Another thought gripped him- was she having doubts and didn't know how to tell him?

"Hey- you ok?" Emily peeked over at him from the drivers side. He seemed lost in thought. About what?

"Yeah." I'm ok he said. "Just fried." Emily half-smiled back. Unconvinced.

They drove through the line at Wendy's and brought it back to her apartment.

Through dinner on the couch Emily thought. Tomorrow. She'll tell him tomorrow when they're not exhausted. For now, she just wanted a shower and a chance to cuddle. "Think I'll take a quick shower" she said, arching an eyebrow at him as she stood up. "Need some help with the soap?" he asked, the edges of his mouth turning up with a knowing smile. That sounds more like her. He watched her saunter down the hall and heard the shower come on. As he stood up to join her, he realized his cell phone and pager were still in the car. Crap. He needed those. He felt around in his pockets for keys. Emily have driven. She had put them in her purse.

He looked around and found it on the kitchen table. Although he didn't normally rifle through her stuff, he knew she had put them there. Matt unzipped the purse and started to search for the keys. His eyes caught something. CLEAR BLUE EASY read the box. Early pregnancy test. The test was opened.

Matt froze. The last time he'd come in contact with one of these is when his college girlfriend had a "scare."

Was Emily worried she was pregnant? He didn't even know her period was late. Was this what was the matter?? A second later he found the plastic test. Looking at it, Matt saw a blue plus sign in the window.

His heart racing Matt sat down on the kitchen chair, knees weak. He made a wild guess that a plus sign didn't mean negative. "Dear God" Matt whispered. "She's having a baby. My baby. Why didn't she tell me?"

Standing in the shower Emily waited for him. After ten mintues she started to think that maybe the poor guy had fallen asleep in the chair. She smiled to herself. She loved to watch him sleep. Quickly, she grabbed a towel for her hair and threw on her bathrobe.

Exiting the shower, she walked into the hallway expecting to find him on the couch. Instead Matt was sitting in the kitchen. Her purse was open, and he was holding the pregnancy test she had hastily hidden away in his hand. The metallic taste of adreneline filled her mouth. Oh no- this wasn't the way she wanted him to find out---He looked up at her with a confused almost hurt look in his eyes. In a quiet voice he said, "Well, either you're covering for Lia, or maybe we need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

"Matt, wait a second, let me explain," Emily faltered trying to stay calm as she rushed towards him.

Putting the test slowly on the table Matt clasped his hands and looked up at her, but made no attempt to stand.

"Is it true Em?" he said in almost a whisper, his eyes riveting hers, his breathing shallow, as if awaiting a judgment.

Kneeling in front of him, Emily placed her hands on his knees. Locking eyes with him she nodded."Yes, it is. I'm pregnant." She could barely mouth the words; Emily bit her lip to stave off tears as she felt a multitude of emotions well up inside her. This wasn't supposed to happen this way; this is not how she wanted to tell him! In panic she searched his face for a reaction.

Blinking hard Matt swallowed, her words echoing in his head. It was true. The magnitude of what he had just learned crashed over him. The woman he loved, the person whose very life he cherished more than anything on earth, was telling him that he was going to be a father. Telling him that there was a tiny new life, sleeping inside of her. A life that HE was responsible for.

He wasn't angry; she didn't get pregnant on her own. Freaked out? A little, but nothing he couldn't get over. He adored her. Sure, they had never considered this might happen. Overwhelmed, slightly,in a good way. But, he was hurt. Very hurt. Why hadn't she told him she was late??

"How long have you known?" he said evenly.

"Matt- I just found out today- I swear," Emily said rising to sit in the chair next to him, her hand resting on his thigh. "That's what I was doing today- I took the test in the conference room bathroom. I had just taken it when Lia ran in and we had to take care of the hostage situation. I couldn't even let myself think about it, much less tell you until we got our job done."

Hearing this Matt felt a flicker of relief, ok, so it wasn't like she'd know for weeks. But still, she hadn't trusted him enough to tell him she even suspected she was pregnant.

"I wanted to tell you so badly, I was planning on making a nice dinner and telling you tomorrow" she said, instead of just springing it on you in the middle of the night after you've worked 16 hours straight. This is a little bit more important thing to bring up than what the next practical joke we play on Frank will be," she said with a slight smile, attempting a little humor.

Matt softened. He brushed her damp hair from her eyes. God she was beautiful. Wet hair, no makeup and she was still all he wanted. He took her hand, squeezing it gently. Emily turned to face him. They looked at each other, uncertain how to proceed, each knowing what the next question had to be.

Emily's mind was racing……it was now or never. She had to tell him- she wanted to be with him more than anything ever in her life, and she wanted this baby. With him. Fear reared up in her heart- did he want the same thing? It was now or never.

As she was opening her mouth to speak Matt suddenly blurted out "How long did you suspect it?" His voice was tinged with …anger?

"About 3 or 4 days ago. I gave it a few days, but my period isn't normally late. Yesterday I finally decided that I needed to find out for sure."

"Why didn't you tell me?????" Didn't you think I would care?? Matt was standing now, voice raised, his eyes narrowed.

"Matt- I, I didn't want you to worry, I thought it was just myself being paranoid" why should you have to deal with that????" Emily said, voice shaking.

"Because" Matt said, turning on her- "I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND THAT'S WHY DAIT!!! Don't you trust me?????" He was yelling now, face contorted with anger and frustration. "Did you think this wouldn't mean anything to me??? We're supposed to be partners- that means we TRUST EACH OTHER COMPLETELY! I even asked you if you were ok, I could tell you were thinking about something but instead of TRUSTING ME YOU LIED AND SAID IT WAS NOTHING! THIS SURE THE H3LL ISN'T NOTHING! Matt wheeled around slamming his fist on the hard oak of the front door.

Stunned, Emily stood rooted to the floor, holding her hand over her mouth, feeling as though her entire world was slipping through her fingers……… she was driving him away! Her self doubt, her fear of becoming vulnerable again was causing possibly irreparable damage to herself and Matt. "NO- her mind screamed silently, NO!" You're going to lose him……..just like the other times..instead this time another life swung in the balance...QUIT DOUBTING YOURSELF AND TELL HIM WHAT HE MEANS TO YOU!"

"Because- I WAS SCARED!" she sobbed… "Scared you might not want the same things I do!!!"


End file.
